


As if I could, and if I were to, what's the part that I'd miss most?

by R_Gunns



Category: Veep
Genre: Character Study, Love/Hate, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 15:23:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6664042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/R_Gunns/pseuds/R_Gunns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan is almost certain that he has lost his mind.</p><p>What else could explain his behaviour that lead to this: to him, spread out on a bed with his arms stretched above him by strong hands, swallowing desperate keens as Jonah bites his way down Dan's neck, his chest, against his pelvic bone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As if I could, and if I were to, what's the part that I'd miss most?

**Author's Note:**

> I have 8k words to write for class tomorrow and instead found myself writing this on the notes app of my phone. It might become more than what it is currently after my papers are done, but for now this is an exersize in 'ridding myself of a thing so my brain no longer focuses on it'.

Dan is almost certain that he has lost his mind.

What else could explain his behaviour that lead to this: to him, spread out on a bed with his arms stretched above him by strong hands, swallowing desperate keens as Jonah bites his way down Dan's neck, his chest, against his pelvic bone. _Jonah_. Dan still doesn't understand how it became this, how fake dates for information became being thrown down on a bed and made to beg. Not that he'd admit it to anyone, he'd rather cut his own dick off with a spoon that anyone find out what he lets Jonah do to him, barely even wants to acknowledge it _himself._

But still, in spite of morning after (and day before, really) shame it still keeps happening. After Selina finds out how much of a failure the entire thing was it still keeps happening. After they 'break up' it still keeps happening. It's like he's a junkie and Jonah's that last fucking fix, which he _hates_ that he needs, but he needs it all the same. He doesn't even know what he's saying at this point honestly. He's trying to rationalise an un-rationalisable decision and,

"Nngh, no, why are you stopping?" He's taken from his thoughts when Jonah's mouth dissapears from his thigh where he'd been sucking a mark that Dan will avoid looking at, but catch himself touching absentmindedly for days afterward. He's sitting back on his haunches to give Dan a look. Dan's arms are still laid out above his head.

"What?"

"You're thinking too much."

Dan grimaces, thinks that if he were thinking at _all_ then he probably wouldn't have ended up here. Doesn't say it though, because he can imagine what Jonah's face would look like if he did; eyes tightening incrementally, the corner of his mouth twitching like it wants to turn down. He might huff a little, grip Dan's waist a little tighter, bite his skin a little harder, but he'll say nothing, not now, not during this. Now is the only time he's quiet, unwilling to argue. It'll make Dan furious tomorrow, morning coffee forgotten while he thinks about every insult he could have said to provoke a response from Jonah. But here, under Jonah's weighted gaze that's both fond and a little pitying, he says nothing.

Jonah presses his thumb to the furrow between Dan's eyebrows, strokes over his left brow like he's trying to smooth it out: Dan's thoughts, his shame, goes with it. For a little while. Till later tonight, if he goes home, or tomorrow if he stays over. He never means to, every night is always one last time. But then so is every time he ever lets Jonah touch him. So is every kiss pressed between his thighs, every time he tugs desperately at Jonah's belt, every scratch he leaves on Jonah's back, every huff of laughter between them in the not-quite awkward silence afterward. It's always the last, the first, the hundredth time, and Dan is _stuck_ , here, with him. In this moment he's not sure he minds.

"Okay," Jonah says, eyes searching Dan's face for something he's not sure he'll find. "Okay."

His hands go back to Dan's wrists, his teeth on Dan's neck. His grip is too tight.

Dan thinks _fucking_ _finally_ , and _don't let go_ and says nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> Also I've only ever seen two episodes of Veep. Lmao.


End file.
